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Marriage First

Did you know that the separation of the family unit can cause economic hardships on the entire community? The effects of a broken marriage and family have ties to violence, rape, gang-related crime, and other horrible statistics.

In mainstream media when we hear about the destruction of the family, we think about incarcerated men or those who have lost their lives. But rarely do we hear about families that are torn apart due to the unwillingness or inability to put the marriage 1st

The marriage should be regarded at the highest level with nothing else coming before the health of it. Ideally, no other person, group of induvial, entities or outside influences should take precedence over the health of the marriage.

This is including but not limited to children, parents, other family members, business, work, friends, or politics.

Nothing comes before the spouse, because the health of the relationship goes in direct support of the health of the family unit, which has an effect on the community.

In the ideal situation, a marriage is prioritized because it keeps the family unit together which supports the health of the husband, the wife, the children, and the community at large.

A healthy marriage and intact family supports the health of each other and the nation by

.Providing greater financial stability

.Lowering health-care costs

.Reducing crime rates and other benefits


According to the Center for Disease Control, approximately 39% of American marriages end in divorce.

In many cases parents divorce due to solvable issues that are usually based on poor communication, misunderstandings, and unmet needs.

According to the statistics against failed marriages and broken families, everything should be done to prevent the negative effects of divorce.

Children of divorced families have more than a few problems that we are aware of. For example, children who come from divorced homes…

. Score lower on standardized tests

. Are less likely to graduate from high school

. Are more likely to run away from home

. More likely to abuse drugs or alcohol

. And more likely to get involved with the law.

When these children become adults their problems continue, and they are often those who are caught up in an unfair judicial system or those who become fully dependent on government benefits and assistance programs.


Multiple studies conducted across the globe suggest that those with healthy long-lasting marriages live longer and enjoy better health than those who divorce, never marry, or live in stressful abusive marriages.

A study conducted by Harvard University shows that people who were married long term suffered fewer heart attacks, fewer strokes, and fewer cases of cancer.

It also showed that those who did suffer these health maladies recovered from them faster than those who were not married.

On the contrary, a study published by the National Institute of Health ( states that the experience of separation or divorce puts an individual at risk for poor health outcomes, including a 23% higher mortality rate.

And the American Center for Disease Control ( reports that those who are divorced or widowed were 20% more likely to have heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or another chronic condition.

Heart-related disease is the number one killer of Americans, and the health of the marriage (along with diet) has a direct impact on physical health, which has a direct correlation to social issues such as health-care, and crime rate.


The Holmes-Rah Life stress inventory is heavily relied upon list (in the mental health field) of the 45 most commons stressors that humans can experience.

The lists rank death of a spouse as the number 1 stressor in human life, and divorce as number 2.

I've already spoken on the physical health-related issues of a separated family, but that doesn’t even touch on the psychological, and social consequences of the broken family.


Marriage isn’t always easy. Marriage doesn’t feel good all the time, and every day isn’t an exciting adventure, but there are plenty of benefits that come along with marriage.

Benefits of Marriage

. Better financial stability

. Better overall health

. Less likely to suffer depression

. Faster recovery from illness and injury

. Greater happiness

. Healthier children

. More frequent and more satisfying sex

Hardships of divorce

. Multiple failed relationships after the divorce

. Inability to fully let go of the ex-spouse

. Greater risk of cancer, stroke, heart attack, and heart-related disease

. Financial insecurity and instability

. Underperforming and under successful children


I share all of this with you to reinforce the importance of keeping the family together by all means.

The destruction of the family is the destruction of the entire community. When the family is broken, the community is left to pick up the pieces and suffer the consequences.

The marriage should never come second to any individual, group of individuals, entities, or outside influences against the health of the marriage. This is including but not limited to children, parents, other family members, business, hobbies, work, friends, or politics.

When disputes and disagreements arise, the couple should keep in mind to do what's right to satisfy both individuals as well as the marriage as if it were its own entity. This can be a difficult balancing act that can take multiple attempts and years to perfect but is definitely a skill worth learning.


Chay Marie

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