I love my husband with my whole heart, but sometimes I'm mean to him. Sometimes I say things I shouldn't have said or things that I don't mean. There have been times when I let my bruised ego and big mouth cause damage to my most precious relationship. But by the grace of God, those moments are fewer and further between as I've aged and learned how to nurture my marriage as opposed to hurting it. And luckily for me my Alpha male is always willing to forgive, and forget. Today I'm sharing with you my 7 best tips to say sorry to your alpha male.
1. Cook him a nice meal
As the adage goes, the quickest route to a man's heart is through his belly. Men love to eat, and they especially love a good home-cooked meal made with them in mind. I cook for my family every night, but when I'm feeling apologetic for something I said to my husband, I put extra love and care into the meal. I think about him when I cook and go the extra mile and take my time. Saying sorry through food doesn't have to be a full dinner service (although he will absolutely love it if it is), it can also be a freshly squeezed juice, a handmade smoothie, a perfectly crafted protein shake even a bowl of fresh fruit salad. The point is to make it especially for him, make it with love, and serve to him with gratitude for being your man.
2. Touch him
Women are more emotional and respond to words, whereas men tend to be more physical and respond better to touch. When you're feeling apologetic a gentle touch can go a long way. When I'm feeling sorry I touch his arm, hold onto him, give him hugs and cuddles, lay in his lap, and snuggle up against his neck and cheek. Every couple has a physical love language that is unique to them. When you're feeling apologetic use the loving touch that's familiar to the both of you. When he loves you (and he does) he won't stay mad for long when you incorporate touch into expressing your apologies.
3. Give him space
Men value their space. I learned the hard way that when I'm upset and have pissed him off, it's best to distance myself and give him room to breathe. When something is up in a relationship a woman naturally wants to talk things through, explain how she feels and express her emotions. The mature woman learns that this is 100% okay, but she learns to give him space and allow him time to come around. The beauty in this is that when he comes around, he will be more open and receptive to you and all of your concerns.
4. Take Care of Yourself
When it's time to give him space, that's an excellent time to practice self-care. Spend time doing something nice for yourself, like visiting a salon, getting made up, or going to the gym. When I'm feeling apologetic and giving him space I love to put on makeup and spend time listening to music and working out. It gives me time to reflect on my own feelings, clear my mind and change my attitude. The change in attitude always reflects on my face and leaves me feeling and looking more beautiful, which in turn softens him up and makes it easy to move on to happier times. Sorry ladies, but it's true that beauty will win him over every time.
5. Create a mood
Women have the power to create a beautiful and welcoming environment wherever she goes (if she so chooses to). If your man is upset with you, change his mood and express your apologies by changing the vibes in your area. When I've been a jerk towards my husband I like to apologize by making our room (or living room) extra cozy and inviting. Try doing a deep clean of his favorite area, light candles, or burn incense. Change the lighting, buy flowers, play music, or whatever it is that creates a beautiful mood-changing ambiance.
If you're anything like I was when I was younger, you might have a bit of a big ego. If you find it hard to simply say sorry, now is the time to get over that. Let him know that you love him, and respect him by humbling yourself, and saying the words "I'm sorry." Don't justify your actions, don't go into wordy explanations, don't place blame or point fingers, simply apologize without expecting anything in return. He deserves the respect, and if he's an alpha male (like mine), he expects it.
7. Practice Avoidance by Guarding your Tongue
The best way to prevent having to be apologetic is by avoiding it all together. I've learned over the years that the best thing for a relationship with an alpha male is to simply guard my tongue. Not every thought you think needs to be said out loud. Biting your tongue and keeping quiet is especially beneficial when you're annoyed or upset with your man, as these are typically the times when you might say something you regret.
These tips took me years to learn and I wish I'd learned them sooner. According to some, they may be taboo and counterproductive to the toxic femininity of today's pop culture, but they work. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Let's talk about it.