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7 Tips for letting go

Updated: Sep 18, 2023

I'm happy because I know how to let go of the toxic things and people in my life.

Some of us have this strange ability to hold on tight to things that no longer serve us. Sadly, some of us struggle with the beautiful gift of "letting go."

We all know of at least one person who holds onto a toxic relationship, a job that is no good for them, or possessions that should have been donated to goodwill years ago.

The sad truth is that sometimes letting go of unnecessary weight is hard to do.

I personally have no issues with letting go of toxic relationships and toxic people. In fact, letting go of toxic people and relationships is like a talent of mine. The moment I notice that someone is affecting my spiritual well-being in a negative way I cut ties with them immediately.

Over the years I've received a ton of criticism over this. Understandably, I've been called everything in the book of cold-hearted women. Personally, I don't see myself as cold-hearted. My life philosophy just so happens to differ from that of the majority.

I live my life detached from most people and things in this world.

I don't belong to this world, I'm just passing through as I make my way home. Nothing here belongs to me forever, no one here belongs to me. On the contrary, everyone (and everything) here belongs to a higher being.

We were created in His image and given free will. I believe that with all that I am.

This belief leads me to live a lifestyle of commitment to virtually nothing but my faith.

A part of my faith is the sacrament of marriage. A marriage is a union between a man and a woman, joined together by the love of God to fulfill a representation of Christ and His church.

A marriage is a vocation that is open to life and the formation of a family.

Thus, marriage and the nuclear family are a part of my faith.

I say this to emphasize the fact that although I am committed to no one or nothing (aside from my faith in God), I am committed to my husband, as he is like Christ, and I am his bride.

I am also committed to the well-being of my children. I'm committed to being a nurturing mother. One who loves them immensely sees the good in them and has the maturity and wisdom to let go when the time is right. My commitment to them lasts as long as they are children.

When it comes to the material world my commitment is slim to none.

It always tickles me to see those individuals who value themselves on the home they live in, the cars they drive, bags they carry, or the mobile phones in which they snap their luxury selfies.

Their worth seems to be based on what they have, which is unfortunate considering all things on this Earth parish. None of these things, items, and possessions truly belong to them.

A luxurious car will eventually become worthless, a home in which you think you own will eventually be handed over to someone else.

The expensive clothes and shoes will undoubtedly be subjected to wear and tear, moths and mildew.

So why commit to such things?

Today I'm sharing my best tips on how to let go

1. Pray at all times

Prayer is your direct connection to God and all things divine. It's your way of giving thanks, petitioning your needs, seeking counsel, soothing anxiety, healing, warding off negativity and so much more. Prayer is all we truly have. Prayer is everything. The holy bible tells us to worry about nothing and pray about everything (Phillippians 4:6-7). So I recommend doing just that. Worry about absolutely nothing, and pray about absolutely everything.

2. Seek Wisdom

Wisdom is supreme. Seek her with all that you have. Look for wisdom everywhere, often hidden in plain sight. Find her in nature, and in books written before our time. Seek her through holy scripture, and conversations with the elderly. Find her in the insight of children, and pray to receive her. When you think you've found her, keep looking! Never stop searching for wisdom.

3. Wake up and give thanks first thing in the morning

There is something very mystical in those early morning hours before the sun rises when the moon is high, and the stars are still twinkling. When the house is still and the children are sleeping. Seize those hours for prayer, thanksgiving, and connecting with the spiritual realm. Take your time, breathe easy and connect with the angels, and saints, with God and His word.

4. stay focused

Keep your mind and heart in tune with what's most important and everything else will naturally become less valuable. When I'm focused on my faith and my journey home, everything else is placed on the back burner. It's easy to become distracted by the noise of the world if I'm not focused on what's truly important. When I'm distracted my priorities become skewed, my life becomes a mess. Try to stay in tune with your true purpose which is to serve God, love others, do the most good and return to your heavenly home when it's time.

5. live with little

When Jesus approached the disciples he asked them to sell their possessions and follow Him. Jesus and the disciples lived with the bare minimum which freed them up to move about freely and put their focus on their mission. Psychology agrees with this notion that if we live with less we tend to be healthier and happier human beings. Luckily for me, I learned this lesson firsthand. I grew up in a home similar to the majority of millennial children where our adults were obsessed with shopping!

Our home was always filled with nice things. And though I am grateful for the things my family blessed my brothers and me with, I must admit that the amount of space it took up was overwhelming. Having an excess of things means having a need to buy a larger space in which to store these things. I've been there. Over the years I've found the peace that comes with living with as little as possible. My current living situation is exactly what I needed. It's small and the only thing in it is the bare minimum. A table for eating on, a couch to relax, a small television for the kids, a good amount of books, a few outfits, and a lot of religion.

6. take care of yourself and others

I find that when I take good care of myself, and those who have been placed in my charge it's easy to let everything else go. How important is a social media account if it takes up too much mental space and creates negativity within me? Not very important at all. It's easily disposable (hence the reason my social media accounts are so small). Taking good care of yourself and others should include catering to spiritual, mental, and physical well-being. When you're caring for yourself, there is typically little less to give to the things and toxicities that do not serve us.

7. stay humble

Sadly, we live in a culture where pride is seen as a good thing. We're proud of our possessions, our status, and our looks. That sense of pride is never satisfied, and once we achieve a new level to be proud of we quickly begin looking for yet another level up to pride ourselves on. Staying humble, valuing ourselves as good in God's eyes, and worthy of love makes it easy to let go of the toxic things of the world that mean us ill will. When we see ourselves as God sees us there's no need to chase after the wind of becoming an internet icon, or any other form of perfection the world has created for us. God made us naked with nothing given to us but all of nature and every creature within it. In that very raw form HE, the very creator Himself saw us as good. It was the evil one who convinced Eve, our ancestor that she wasn't enough, and if she simply disobeyed God she would be something better. It was a lie then, and it's a lie now. Nothing under the sun will make us better than how we were originally created. No amount of make-up, designer clothes, accolades, homes, cars, or possessions will soothe you. Let go of that toxic idea and learn to live humbly.

Although I'm giving you the tips that work for me when it comes to letting go of worldly people and things, I of course am not perfect. I admittedly struggle with letting go of one thing in particular. I struggle with letting go of the memory of the home that I grew up in.

In my opinion my gramma house in Miami, FL was heaven on Earth.

Her home was quiet, humble, warm, full of love. Outside there were cherries, avocados, mangos, lemons, limes, grapefruit, collard greens, and bananas.

The sound of old church hymns and prayers filled the air, and my gramma, strong and full of Christ cared for me, that home, and everyone in it as though it was her only job on this Earth.

That is the place where I experienced my first miracles, and where I discovered who I am.

That home was and still is my happy place.

I haven't been there in almost 20 years, but I visit it in my mind at least once a day. It is in fact the one thing that I struggle to let go of.

I dream about it often, and in a perfect situation, I would own that home. I'd buy it back from the people it was sold to. I'd restore it and give it back to my mom and gramma, the rightful owners.

I'd care for it and love it in the same way the women before me did. But alas, I am a dreamer, who too struggles from time to time with the beauty of letting go.

How about this, you pray for me, and I'll pray for you.

Sincerely, and with love.

Your friend,

Chay Marie

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